Originally Posted by
Babescake 
I thought it would be good for him to attend to let go of his resentments and be around others in his shoes. He says once he is rid of me, he'll have no more problems, but there is deep resentment and hurt there. Having the opportunity to talk it out might be therapeutic.
The only "issue" he sees is that I'm an alcoholic. I'm responsible for every single thing wrong in our marriage so going to therapy is fruitless. He is wrong of course, there are other issues, such as SOLELY blaming me for our marriage's demise.
I want him to understand the disease better for my son. More than likely he'll have primary custody and I want him to know how to appropriately talk to him about my addiction instead of just being like, "Mommy loves alcohol more than you."
I'm in recovery right now but relapsed not too long ago. I'm sober again and it really scared me, but it also puts me on edge that it could happen again. If it does I never want my child to think that I am purposefully choosing alcohol over him.
I totally believe what you are saying. Unfortunately it seems like when there is an addiction issue, the sober partner often shifts all the blame for marital issues on the other spouse. Its not always justified, and your right - while you may be working on yourself and will grow and become healthier in so many ways - he will sit and stay the same not realizing his part in the dysfunction. And all of that affects your child. I REALLY appreciated that my husband wanted to do therapy and work on things, and I couldn't even guarantee him that I would stay married to him at that time.
My husband had that same fear about relapse and what might happen, what our child might be taught to believe. I understand completely what your saying on how he should at least be educated so he can speak factually and not just with emotion/anger. If he isn't willing/wanting to do any of this - the only suggestion I can make is to see if during custody or divorce proceedings, there can be a request made by your attorney/advocate that each of you must complete specific counseling (no bias towards either of you) at least to benefit your child and enhance co-parenting. I think courts are used to parents aligning against one another, and Im sure your willingness to do things to benefit your child would be well received.
((cyber hugs)) sorry you have to go through this.