I only started attending al anon after I left xah. I went in thinking that it would help me, help our young children "understand" him. What I learned, is this was a program for me. It wasn't keeping to my side of the street if I will trying to stand in my yard and point out the things in his. Has it helped our children? Yes. By helping me find a healthy, happy me again. That is what my children need more than explaining someone else to them. Al anon is for friends and family members that have been affected by another's drinking. In your other thread on the newcomers, I was going to suggest maybe you might like to try it for yourself? Not sure if you think it would apply to you. When I saw you post here, I took it as my sign that I should at least "say" it to you. It may help you. Hugs friend.