Here's what you can control in this situation:
1) How you talk to your son about the disease
2) How you demonstrate to your son that you do not love alcohol more than him
3) How you treat others with respect, even if they have behaved hurtfully towards you in the past, and how you demonstrate that behavior to you son
You literally have no control over what your husband says or does. It doesn't matter how much you want to have control over it, or how unfair the situation feels. It's time to decide where to focus your energy and time.