Originally Posted by
Babescake 
I want him to understand the disease better for my son.
From what you are saying it doesn't sound like he would be very open to any suggestions?
Al-Anon, from my limited experience isn't somewhere to go to learn about alcoholism. The focus is on the family member/friend and how to detach from trying to control others (in a nutshell).
Didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it.
I think the onus is on you to help your Son to understand, not on your soon to be XH?