Originally Posted by
aliciagr 
I went for a while Babescake. I find it a good place to connect with other family members, and there is a focus on self care, boundaries which I find useful. I feel like it focuses a lot on control / codependency issues. Do you think he would identify with that aspect? In terms of education about addiction eehh I think seeing a therapist would be much better because Alanon really only brings in the 12 step model which wasn't sufficient for me. Also, I didn't really find it to be focused on the family, just the family member, You do your thing, your addict does their thing. It might help with his resentments, never hurts to suggest he try it.
Do you think he might consider doing family therapy where the two of you could focus on the healthiest way to co-parent? My guess is that it would open up the door for deeper issues to be discussed.
There is a thread on here that has a link to the Pleasure Unwoven video on youtube. That might be something you could forward to him, its about 30 minutes and really informational. Ive seen a couple people say it was played for family members in a rehab setting.
My FIL is going to try to get my MIL to watch it. She has been having a hard time with my husbands addiction issues. She does go to Alanon though and she likes it. Has made friends.
I thought it would be good for him to attend to let go of his resentments and be around others in his shoes. He says once he is rid of me, he'll have no more problems, but there is deep resentment and hurt there. Having the opportunity to talk it out might be therapeutic.
The only "issue" he sees is that I'm an alcoholic. I'm responsible for every single thing wrong in our marriage so going to therapy is fruitless. He is wrong of course, there are other issues, such as SOLELY blaming me for our marriage's demise.
I want him to understand the disease better for my son. More than likely he'll have primary custody and I want him to know how to appropriately talk to him about my addiction instead of just being like, "Mommy loves alcohol more than you."
I'm in recovery right now but relapsed not too long ago. I'm sober again and it really scared me, but it also puts me on edge that it could happen again. If it does I never want my child to think that I am purposefully choosing alcohol over him.