Hi Jen. First of all - well done you for fighting this and I'm really pleased that you came to SR x.
One and a half years sober is a mighty achievement. You mention that you have reached out to your sponsor and other places for help although you find it troubling to do so. Have they been able to help you in certain ways in the past and if so, why do you feel that has become more difficult for you at this present time? For you to stay clear of alcohol for that large amount of time you were obviously doing something right. (I apologise if this comes across as prying but I'm seeking to clarify your situation in my mind).
Anxiety and paranoia are horrendous and you have my sympathy for the feelings that you are experiencing at this time. Everyone is different in the way that they deal with them. Some prefer meditation, others going for a walk/run or listening to calming music and still others like to read and post here at SR. Did you have your own preferences before today that helped previously?
Wishing you well. Yix x