^^ YEP! What LR said, exactly!!
My problem is I am attracted to the shiny objects..in this case the very good-looking guys who are extremely charming, but emotionally unavailable. And the nicer guys seem to "bore" me. I gotta get out of that habit!
You see this pretty clearly and that's such a great thing!! You list all of the feelings that come with being triggered to flop right back to your old self. YAY!! Thats a great thing! (remember when we didn't know we did that $h!t?!....ugg!)
I agree - dating sites totally suck....BUT....
You might be able to use your awareness, and the triggers from the dating sites to your advantage. I found that using them for a while did some pretty cool things for me...
because I could finally see where I was failing myself before (yes, I had some pretty heavy pulls towards my old ways too when I joined).
1 - they helped me learn to not take rejection personally - I don't love everybody, so why do I think everybody needs to love me?! And its actually a good thing when they don't respond to an initial reach out from you. That weeds them out FAST!
2 - they helped me learn to say NO - before even meeting someone, because I didn't want to be the type of person that just doesn't respond (just to the nice ones, obvs)....and hey....I got pretty good at it!
3 - they helped me practice saying nothing when I felt like there was nothing more to say and no further conversation could go on productively
4 - they helped me experience dates with an open heart, open mind, and eyes WIDE open for red flags...and without swooning over the first hottie to take an interest in me. I learned to take those fantasies off the table, and take each date and each meeting for what it actually is.
5 - they taught me to actually LISTEN to what men were telling me, and to pay attention to how they treated me and others. Anyone saying "I never want to get married again" or "i just want to have fun" or "insert complaint about the female sex here" or "I don't want anything serious" - I FINALLY HEARD IT!
6 - they have helped me practice SAYING when someone isn't right for me, and then ACTING on that....after 2, 5, or 30 dates....rather than just keeping dating someone because they like me, and that feels good.
7 - it helped me shift my mindset from seeing if I was the type of person that THEY want, to seeing if they are the type of person that I want.
So - maybe you need another break from dating. I did when I first tried. It's OK - there is A LOT of fun out there to be had solo or with friends and family!
Or - maybe you can rethink your reasons for being on those sites....and use them as a tool to correct some of your own shiny thing behavior, because you see it loud and clear, and that's half the battle.