My drinking life was horrible, bitter and often agonising but it had one thing in its favour for drunk me - it was familiar.
I drank for so long that I forgot there was another me - the pre drinking and drugs me. The only me I remembered as far back as I could was the messed up me.
Even when I quit, I still did not remember the old me for several weeks, months even.
I thought a joyless, deprived existence, full of difficult emotions and no respite was all I had to look forward to.
But it got better - and I rediscovered the me that has been subsumed for all those years.
Its a leap of faith Renvate - things may not get better instantly, you may not feel terrific right away - but it's the only road to take - there's nothing for you back the way you came and I think that by signing up here and posting for all these months you know that too.
D