Hi MG,
I’m wondering what was going on in that fifth week when you quit smoking for 5 weeks. And I think of the unexpected thoughts and feelings I was having when I quit drinking. A huge ritualized habit that involved really nice sensations was missing from my life. What was I going to do about it? I suffered the grief and sadness and I took to accepting it. I took all the unexpected consequences of quitting as just part of what I needed and ultimately wanted.
Before making my Big Plan, the reasons for quitting were important to me even though, afterwards, why I quit didn’t matter any more. I knew I couldn’t go back. That was the deal.
What about the personal morality reason for making a Big Plan against Smokey the Beast? We all know smoking will very likely shorten your life, and all of us here know how wonderful it would be if, in the more distant future, you will still be here so others may take advantage of your unique and successful style of administrating SR. Some of us in the SR ‘family’ wish we could give you an ultimatum. (I suppose we could go on a general strike, but seriously)
You have every capacity, right now, to take your reasons for quitting to the max and with mental bolts of lightning chisel your pledge for yourself, to yourself, in your mind like one of the Ten Commandments on that mountaintop in the movie.
Others can lovingly help motivate you to decide to become a permanent non-smoker. But as the action of encouraging you fades slowly into oblivion, it finally does end up that nobody will dwell upon what you chose to do.
GT