good on ya for fessing up. You stand a better shot than I did. I failed to take responsibility for my choices and actions in betrayal for a very long time.
I also failed to acknowledge that alcohol was the reason I'd chosen betrayal and found ways to rationalize and justify it.
Despite my fallen-short efforts to be 'forgiven' - I didn't truly take responsibility for my part of it.... so she could never really forgive. Nearly a decade later we divorced sadly....
Speaking as a man who betrayed his wife, failed to own up to it until caught, failed even then to truly OWN my actions, failed to recognize or act on my alcoholism and addiction, failed myself and my then-wife..... I will offer you my honest reflection:
I hope that you'll embrace sobriety.
I hope that you'll do so with utter humility.
I hope that you'll do everything to show your wife you are truly sorry and accept the pain, the mistrust, the anger and the despair of it as your rightful due....
I hope that you'll find in this dismal time, the strength to be the man I was too weak to be in your shoes - and I hope in so doing you'll save yourself a decade of madness, pain, anguish and sorrow.... and help your wife heal and, with time and work, love through this to a better place together.
