My husband cheated on me when he was using coke and drinking. Except he didn't tell me initially, so I applaud you for being honest with your wife from the beginning. We have worked through what happened and also used family therapy to do so. It may sound bizarre but through dealing with his addiction issues and everything that came from it - we formed a deeper relationship, rebuilt trust, and I think we communicate much better now. Plus we both know not to take what we have for granted. I hope things work out for both of you and hey don't overlook the dangers that could come from these blackouts. I found out about the affair because my husband got a treatable STD. Try having THAT conversation. Not good.