I posted that - it was a reply to a harleygirl post -
Working on detachment, but it's difficult....any suggestions?
... paste below
Here's something I learned from some parenting counseling I once received on self-esteem. Not sure if this helps, but I did put this into practice while raising my children. Maybe it translates some what to this situation.
A very young enthusiastic child wants to help w/ dinner and offers to carry her very heavy and awkward plate full of spaghetti to her place at the dinner table, do you?
A) Worry so much that the child will drop the plate because the plate is too big for her to handle and insist that you do it for her?
The cost of that response is the childs self-esteem.
B) Allow her to, realizing that it might very well get dropped and make a big mess.
The WORST CASE cost of that response is you and the child clean it up together, but probably won’t have to. And if you did, it would only take a minute of your time, and your childs self-esteem is spared.
BTW -
Both my Mother and Father were the type to not let me do certain things by myself until they thought I was old enough. It was not until I was in my early twenties before I GOT my self esteem. I refuse do that to my kids! I joke about this but it’s really very true, some of the best parenting lessons I learned from my parents was what NOT to do. Yes I know they did the best they could at the time, but I will be a better parent!<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>