Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Atalose, I had stopped attending meetings because I was tired of his alcoholism being such a huge part of my life. I guess I didn't want to be a person who needed help for someone else's problem. I've now realised that if I want to stick with him, I need to start going again. In fact he and I have just written some rules about how we are going to proceed. There are ones about him attending counselling and support groups, and we've added one about me doing the same. (QUOTE).
Dzhen---What about the above "rules" about how you both are gong to proceed. Was there any plan for relapse? ...or, was relapse considered a possibility?
I realize that it is very, very tight, financially.
Do you have any family that is close enough for you to make it to work....?
Detox is good to get a person through the immediate withdrawl period, but it is not treatment....
Sounds like, from what you share...the disease has a grip on him....so, looking toward your own welfare and the things that you can actually control is what the current realities seem to call for.....
Hi dandylion, yeah, relapse was considered, and the consequence was sleeping in the spare room. But I've revised that now (perhaps unfairly, but hey, I think he's going to have to deal with that) to you drink, even once, you leave. And because he did drink, I'm implementing that straight away (no more chances).
No, unfortunately I don't have any family close by - the closest is an hour flight away (so by Australian standards, not THAT far away!). I've arranged with my manager to work from here for a while until he goes, but who knows how long that will take. I had a chat to him this afternoon. He believes him leaving won't fix anything but I restated quite firmly that I need him to do this so I can have space (plus restated my other reasons why I thought this might help him). He's still 'thinking about it' but I think he might be getting the message, albeit slowly, that I'm dead serious about this. Even though I was upset, I am quite proud of how I handled it. I kept it pretty short so I wasn't tempted to make any concessions.
Am very grateful to my family, friends, my boss and all you people for your support.
