Update
Hi guys. Am with my sister now and even though she's busy, she's been really supportive. As it appears my husband doesn't intend to leave, we've been talking through a plan to encourage him to do so. I'm thinking of asking whether he can use some of our joint savings to go to a cheap airbnb for a while - a month at least. That way he won't have the 'I don't want to impose on a friend' excuse. We had been saving that money for more happy purposes - having a baby, buying a house, taking a holiday - but it's pretty clear to me that none of that is going to happen if he doesn't get better (well a holiday could, but our recent holidays have been nightmares).
As I mentioned to Bekindalways, I'm having trouble not caving, so it's a good thing we have some serious geographical distance between us. He texted yesterday with a clean, time-verified breathalyser result (yeah, we have a breathalyser - I couldn't ever be accused of turning a blind eye to the drinking!) and I responded that although I appreciate that, I still need him to leave (his response was 'ok' but that doesn't mean he actually agrees - he's good at saying 'ok' to keep the peace). But I've also texted with a recommendation that he find a forum like this and participate on it. True to form, I can't stop trying to fix him. Or is that level of encouragement acceptable? It's hard to know when I cross a line from being helpful to being codependent.
Anyway, as always, your thoughts are welcome. I need to go back home and to work at some stage - by Monday, most probably (though I'm going to talk to my boss about this today). So I guess I need to talk to him about my idea soon, or I'll arrive back to a flat with him still in it. I haven't heard from him since the above-mentioned text so it's also possible he is on a binge or has even gone already - or something in between. I do worry that he will binge and fall over or choke on his own vomit, but I guess I have to live with that possibility. When I'm away, I find I don't worry too much about what he's doing, because whatever it is, at least I don't have to witness it.
Today, I'm going to take my sister's adorable puppy for a walk to the beach and have a haircut.