Originally Posted by Tatsy

Hi Gals and Guys, humour me if you will, because I used to be an AAer and am curious. The OP is 74 years old, been sober for 34 years, had their current sponsor make innapropriate “sexual statements” and is seeking guidance on firing the current sponsor, and seeking a new sponsor.

I’m in the UK and here, sponsors are sought to provide guidance and knowledge whilst working the steps and maybe hand-holding for a while longer. I just don’t understand how someone would require a sponsor after 34 years of sobriety. So please, maybe the term “sponsor” after that initial step learning period, should actually be called a “friend” or a “buddy”. I say this because, if a step sponsor is still required, then perhaps the sponsor hasn’t correctly taught the steps?

Please help me here, I realise it’s just terminology, but I don’t understand, and maybe one day I’ll meet someone for whom the steps will work, but I don’t know how I can recommend the steps, if a sponsor is ‘for life’ and the person can’t stand on their own feet afterwards.

I thought a sponsor was a guide and teacher, so surely if they performed their role correctly, they could step aside at some point, and allow their sponsee, to go on to sponsor others. At the same time, continuing in a friend and guide role, perhaps. Semantics, I know, but I feel it’s an important point in terms of self-reliance, or otherwise, maybe, risking dependency?