Really good to see you on here Horn. Really very good. I quit so many times i lost count. Part of my recovery now is SR and accepting and playing through the tickertape of "one drink leads to two, two drinks leads to the bottle, one bottle leads to two, a hangover, guilt, injury (i have scars where i fell over and didnt remember till i looked in the mirror the next morning, carried bin bags with broken bottles i was hiding instead of putting in recycling and cut my leg open - the list goes on). Sober life is calmer. You will get there. Just need time to let your body breathe a sigh of relief that youre free of the devils juice, ok? So keep coming here and sharing with peeps so we can help support.