i can relate in a way-emotions/feelings all over the place. being by meyself with those emotions/feelings was new and unfomfortable. i had a 45 mile ride to and from work. id jump between cranking the stereo to that being too much so shut it off but the silence deafening so crank the stereo back up.
repeat.
i had a hard time sitting still-even at AA meetings. sitting still meant i was sitting with myself and my thoughts and feelings and i had absolutely no clue what they all meant.
working the steps helped tremendously. i was able to get to a point of being comfortable in my own skin and with life.
something on this:
I am starting to think I am not a normal person psychologically.
have ya seen people that are psychology normal? they scare the crap outta me!
seriously, imo, there is some normalcy going on- youre seeing problems and feeling feelings. thats rather psychologically normal, isnt it? youre seeking help for the problems. isnt that psychologically normal?
something from the BB on the 4th step:
Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome,
we straighten out mentally and physically.
i can feel good about stopping- have gratitude for that- and still be grumpy.
its very understandable to be crabby early on- theres probably a lot going on in your mind you dont understand-yet.
keep on puttin in the footwork,chow!
