It takes a while for family to come around IME, though it is great your partner appreciates your efforts.
I recall when I went to AA I ran into some problems too. I think what happened was that though I had stopped drinking, to everyone's relief, I had not yet developed far enough in the program to have that psychic change they talk about. Instead I was still running in my alcoholic mind because that was the only normal life as far as I knew.
When you take step four you will begin to see where that crabby thing comes from, and how that and other behaviours are what trip us up. We really begin to see cause and effect. I suffered a few grim moments brought about by my attempts to live the old (normal for me) way. I was changed by the steps.
Improvements in that area correlated almost exactly with my progress in the steps. And the strange thing was other people noticed the changes long before I did.
Here's an example. My last friend kicked me out of his life after I did something really stupid and dangerous at his house and nearly got him kicked out. That was three months before I went to AA. Three months after I went to AA I crossed paths with my friend as I was working step nine. A few days after that contact he offered me a small loan so I could buy a car to get to meetings. He later told me he had seen a huge change in me. It blew me away. I paid him back too.