Thanks guys
Thanks so much for your caring responses.
Dandylion, I've read a handful of those articles now. Thanks for recommending them. With the yardsticks, I definitely think he left detox thinking he was better than he was, but I don't think he is guilty of the others. But then I may be in denial, too!
Atalose, I had stopped attending meetings because I was tired of his alcoholism being such a huge part of my life. I guess I didn't want to be a person who needed help for someone else's problem. I've now realised that if I want to stick with him, I need to start going again. In fact he and I have just written some rules about how we are going to proceed. There are ones about him attending counselling and support groups, and we've added one about me doing the same.
As for the work, he has been trying, though I find it hard to gauge just how hard. After all, I need to go to work every day, so can't monitor him constantly. The employment market in Australia is pretty tough - I myself have been looking for alternative employment for a while now, with no luck. I have no doubt that as a middle-aged man, he is up against it. But it doesn't make it any easier for me. I do wonder whether I make things too easy for him, even though I only supply the basics (he has to pay for any 'extras', including alcohol, out of his own account).