Has anyone had a similar experience, with an alcoholic loved one lapsing immediately after detox?
Welcome to SR. Yes my exah drank straight after detox many, many times. He felt better so he thought he was better and thought he could control his drinking. Of course he couldn't so he ended up back at square one within a few days.. He was and still is in denial and didn't commit to a program to stay sober. Detox is the beginning of a long road if an alcoholic wants recovery. Otherwise it is just a clean out to restart drinking.
I just got on with my own life and eventually we divorced. He is still drinking despite being in rehab long term 6 times. I'd suggest you read the stickies at the top of the forum page and learn all you can about what you are up against and focus on your own life and what you want. Getting a job is up to him but I never found keeping my exah busy stopped his drinking.
He drinks alone, and is never aggressive. When I confront him about it he often denies it, then agrees, apologises, and goes to bed.
Yes my exh did that too until he didn't anymore. Alcoholism is progressive. He gradually started being argumentative and his drinking sessions started to impact on all of us. My kids would find him passed out on the kitchen floor in a pool of pee. It started out for the first few years as a quiet drinking alone thing tho.