Functioning denier
Hello,
I am 24 and dating a functioning alcoholic who is 35 years old. We've been dating for almost a year now and it's been an emotional rollercoaster. He had 3 DUIs 10 years ago, still smoked and drink when we met but blamed his "loneliness" for his habits. We were in different states so he said he would like to stop living the way he did and move closer to me. Me being the oblivious and positive person who has 0 experience with an alcoholic, I was hopeful. He came, immediately found a job with weird hours, stayed up and drank beer all night while playing video games for 3 months. When he left that job things became clear to me, because he would start playing his games in the morning and start drinking in the afternoon. He wanted me to sit next to him and smile.
Long story short, we had lots of fights between December and now. He denied everything at first, until 3 days ago. He said the court sent him to AA meetings so he knows how this works. He said if he sets the days to drink and limit the number, then it means he is an alcoholic. I had to calm myself down and explain how he already is one and limiting is just one of the steps...
As you can imagine this is the shortest version of the story. I made mistakes in my communication with him, but Gosh isn't he hard to explain things. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a wall. I'm typing this while he is sleeping next to me stinking booze and weed. He probably drank "only" 4 beers last night but he set limit to 3. I don't know how I can handle this.
On a quick note: Before I came to the US, away from my miserable life I was a heavy drinker. I drank and got high for 2 years straight, no breaks whatsoever. However, it wasn't hard for me to stop that, I don't even like the sensation now. So i have no idea how to deal with someone who enjoys ups and downs of these unhealthy "habits".