Originally Posted by
qwerty1029 
Thanks for the thoughts everyone. Spent an hour in tears at the therapist yesterday. But it helped to talk. I only have the one friend I can really talk to about this. She is coming over tomorrow to see me and talk. That will help as well I hope.
Qwerty, I know it hurts but tbh you can never really take the word of an active alcoholic seriously. For now, go no contact with your wife, use the time of separation to build yourself up going to al anon, therapy, reading, looking for a new job, etc
Once you start working again, you will have less time to dwell on the current circumstances. It is also better in the long run if your wife works on herself. Mourn what was, the old marriage, that marriage was not working so well, there could well be an opportunity to build a new one but you have to do the work also.