Originally Posted by
BillieJean1 
I think the hardest part of being addicted is living in that place where you know you need to quit, but you keep doing it anyway. I lived that for a long time, trying to quit and having that inner turmoil, until I would break and do it again. I definitely felt like I was of two minds, that's why AVRT appealed to me, as soon as I read about the AV, I could relate and what I had been going through made sense. In TFM, how do you "make it stick"? AA does it one day at a time, and with RR we make a BP and learn to recognize that part of our thinking. I understand what you are doing in helping people get to the point of being ready to make a decision and a change, I think getting to that point is the hardest part. I also think you all do a really good job of blowing apart a lot of the misinformation and belief systems that hold people back, I just don't understand what keeps people from changing their minds back, especially if moderation is kept as an option. I agree that neuroplasticity is not a sign of disease, but of a healthy normal brain, doing what it's supposed to do, but nonetheless substance use does create these neural pathways that take time to change while new behaviours and thought patterns emerge. What is TFM's line of defense against the old thinking and behaviours? I agree that quitting is as simple as making a decision and not letting anything talk you out of it, especially yourself. When people who use TFM method quit, is it a firm commitment for life?
The first part is to learn and then know that you can choose to never be an "addict/alcoholic" ever again, because it is an identity or mindset. We suggest they choose to never be an addict/alcoholic again regardless of whether they choose to use substances. In line with making choices based on benefits, we discuss the benefits of identifying as an addict (which are mainly that you get lots of excuses for your behavior, and lowered expectations from others). And we discuss the benefits of not identifying as an addict - that you regain your sense of control over yourself and stop fighting a bogeyman.
You make it stick by learning from your decisions. Reframe "cravings" as something you do rather than something that happens to you, so that if that's what you're doing, you know you can dispute the thinking that is leading to a desire to use, and think about the benefits of a different choice. Part of disputing is disconnecting problems as a "cause" of substance use, and know that substances don't solve those problems, nor do they necessarily give comfort from those problems. Using substances is at best a distraction from those problems, no different than any other non-substance based distraction.
I used the term
make it stick to honor your question, but we're not assuming that any particular substance use outcome should be made to stick for anyone other than the outcomes they want most. So we give them information and ideas they can use to assess their options, and the only thing we focus on "making stick" is feeling free and in control of your own decisions. They leave with the knowledge to make abstinence or moderation stick, if that is what they see as their best option. If it doesn't stick, they obviously don't see it that way. If they have a conflict of wants going on, they have the tools to resolve that and tip the scales.