the unexpected death of father (the last of my intermediate family, my mother and both brothers are all already gone) sent me back out *i allowed it, justified it, whatever* and for a steady 2 and 1/2 weeks after his funeral did as much as i could possibly do...
at a quarter to midnight last night i put it down, not so much that i couldn't get more but just sheer exhaustion
...so after a meager 5 hours sleep, the first in at least 3 days i've gotten up and cleared out paraphernalia, clean up the house, said a real prayer and have decided i've had enough
this is just a physical log to know when i'd decided to get clean