Originally Posted by
lastchance77 
Re. cravings (especially after work), for me it was that I make associations with drinking really easily, the AV convinces me it’s the activity and drinking that’s enjoyable, whereas in reality it’s neither. If I drank while poking nails in my eyeballs, I would start to really want to poke nails in my eyeballs. Does that make sense?
It makes sense, LastChance. The activity is an excuse to drink. We grow to have many excuses to drink. It is making me think.. I haven’t been happy with the job for a long time and when off work, I’m often alone. I used wine to numb the stress as well as the lonesomeness. Wine became my friend. A friend you can’t trust I might add. Being alone became enjoyable so I could keep drinking. Keeping the crappy job was also an enabler. Ohhhh interesting stuff!
I have a question on the AV. To me, the AV
is me. It is my own head and my own self. I haven’t wanted to talk to it like it is some alien that took over my mind. Therefore I never picked up on using the term. Do I have it all wrong? Are my thoughts from the stigma that alcoholism is the fault of the drinker? Maybe I need to treat it like the disease it is instead of something I’ve done to myself? Or is it both? I also know that different methods work for different folks. Most curious how it helps others I guess. I’ve failed at quitting several times and want to win this time. I want to consider new ways to help.