Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Liz....just a couple of questions....(you have actually mentioned this in a couple of posts, previously)....
At what age do you remember this beginning....(from childhood on)....?
Do you tend toward impulsiveness? Could you have undiagnosed ADHD? (not saying that you do...but, I think it is a valid question, because most adults who have undiagnosed adhd are not aware of it)......
Hi Dandy! No i’n not ADHD. I was always like this since childhood and trying to please my dad, never angering him or arguing him, etc.
My needs were never asked about as a child. I know a lot of my defensiveness comes because I feel that it would be a sin to be proven wrong about something because that would make me imperfect and I had to keep up the good girl act for my dad so that he could focus on taking care of my sister (she had leukemia while we were kids and was often ill) and he drank more and more to deal with our realities in the home.
I do better with co-workers because i’m not as emotionally invested in my relationship with them as I am with my bf or family.
I really should get back into meditation. All I know is that my hormones are crazy lately and I feel like i’m more angry than usual. I hate to say it, but I know i’ve been childish and immature.