Originally Posted by
atalose 
Hi Dt122 and welcome, sorry for what has brought you here but so many of us understand your confusion and reluctance to just forgive and forget.
I think your instinct is telling you a lot, like NOT to trust him and when we find it hard NOT to trust someone we love the entire relationship changes forever.
Is he clean/sober today? And if so, how do you really know he is and not lying to you again? If he is clean/sober what kind of a program is he working to help him remain that way?
Thank you for being understanding and for making me feel like I'm not alone with these feelings, sometimes I feel like a bit of a monster to be thinking this way about him.
As far as I know he is sober, but obviously I only have his word and he could well be lying to me but I feel I would probably notice if he wasn't sober. He is currently seeing a therapist who specialises in substance abuse.
I just feel I've done a lot for him and he's thrown it all back in my face and treated me like I was stupid, because I feel really stupid.
When he first got sober he gave me an ultimatum basically saying if i want to be with him then I also can't drink. I haven't drank in 4 years. I feel that I've supported him so much and been there through it all with him and he's just completely mugged me off and treated me like a fool. And now it's like well I don't even know who you are.....