My boyfriend
Hi
I hope I am posting this in the correct place and I apologise for the length of this post.
I have a boyfriend who I have been with for 7 years. He is 26 and I am 25 years old.
He in the past had struggled with addiction to alcohol, then around 4 years ago he decided to become sober. Hadn't drank for the whole 4 years. Was doing great mentally and in such a good place that he decided to go and study abroad, which was going to be a struggle as it would be a long distance relationship for a year but I obviously supported his decision.
Fast forward to him being in another country, I started to notice a change in him, he wouldn't communicate with me as much and one time he even went a whole weekend without any form on contact with me which was very unusual for him. I also noticed during our skype calls and a few photo's he sent me that there was bottles of alcohol in his room. He reassured me that he had been given them by people as 'presents' and didn't have the heart to refuse them and he thought they looked 'nice' in his room. We had a long talk about it all and stupidly, I believed him. I really did trust him.
Around 6 months into his time of being there I received a call from his Mom saying that he had taken himself into hospital and that he had become psychotic from drug use. Apologies if I haven't worded that correctly but he had managed to develop psychosis from taking cocaine and mushrooms on a frequent basis.
Now he is back at home but I am struggling. Although he is very apologetic about it all I'm finding it really hard to forgive him for lying to me about it all. All is he does is say how stupid he was and just apologises constantly and to be honest it really annoys me! Like he doesn't own what he did all he does is say how stupid it was.
It's very up and down, one minute I feel fine about it but the next I sort of don't want to be around him or want anything to do with him. I still feel that he hasn't been totally honest with me about it all. I know that this in itself can't be good for him and trying to move forward.
I understand the nature of addiction and I am a very understanding rational person and I understand why he lied. I love this man to death, honestly but I can't help feeling betrayed by him.
Apologies if this doesn't make much sense but has anyone been in a similar situation? is there a way of getting past this?
Thank you to anyone who replies.