Congratulations 180man on your sobriety! I just read this entire thread & I am coming from someone who is still in it, still married to my AH but we live as roommates. He tells me he wants to quit but blames me for not being the wife he needs & says if had a reason he would quit & gets mad at me that we have no intimacy in our marriage right now! Luckily I do not fall for his bs but like most have said it is really hard to be intimate with someone who drinks & blames you! Like others have said sex does not make everything better & if things are not O.K, they are not O.K. For me it is impossible to have physical intimacy where there is no emotional intimacy. I loved reading your last post for most never get there where they can look back & see their faults & also look forward & no the right steps to take! My AH is so far from that as he is still in this blaming & sex will fix everything stage! I am trying to build up the courage to separate for I need some clarity & need room to breathe. Whether we are together or apart I would love for him to get to a place where he is working on himself for his own sake & the sake of our 8 year old son! Thank you for sharing!