Originally Posted by roadie58
How bout getting a real life? You sound far from fine to me.
Are you in a program there buddy??? Have you read your thread lately? Enough with taking other people's inventories, huh.
Anyway. Linzi. I have been there too. My whole life surrounded around it. Everything, from the drugs, the preparation to do them, to the preparation the dope sickness afterwards...ect...
Getting clean scared me too. Especially since I had gotten dope sick so many times. Getting off the opiates was bad enough, coming off the benzo's - I wanted to die and just get it over with. Let alone thinking about living everyday without them. Now I do it One Day at a Time...
I remember this though, I only had to do it one last time.
After the week in ICU with my wife there everyday wondering if I was going to make it until now is a miracle to me that I was living that way.
I also would make "rounds" looking for stuff, until I finally got too sick to go anywhere. And my whole life was centered in drugs.
I also had a hard time early in recovery changing my old thinking. But it happened because I work the program, got a sponsor, and did the steps.
It took some time, some work, and a whole lot of faith (from others when I didn't have it myself), but I have been in recovery and living a lot better since.
The dope sickness will pass, the thinking about it all day, all of that.
Try calling a local NA hotline down there and see if you can talk to someone in recovery who has been through the same thing and can help you through this if you want. They can also help with finding a meeting, and a treatment center if that is what you want to do.
How I finally recovered is by putting all that time in effort I put into using, into working the program and staying clean...
Just another junkie's spin...
Chad H.
Clean another 24 hours = thanks to the program and my HP