Originally Posted by
SurvivorK 
Hi Gottalife, you asked me about sponsorship, when I was 6 years sober. I never sponsored, I always thought it was too much for me. I would say I was active with my sponsor in the beginning, for the first 2 years, went to meetings, but then life happened, kids kept me busy, work, life and all that fell to the way side. I just stayed sober, it was what I was supposed to do. I went to a great treatment facility, someone close kindly paid for it and I was not going to let that person down, nor my family so I was on this high and kept moving forward. Kids have now grown, need me less, my someone close passed away, and I was like, well... maybe I can drink. I won't let them down. In reality, I now know I need to do this for myself, no one else, especially if I want to enjoy my kids, my husband, and honor the person who helped me in need. She would forgive me and ask me to believe in myself, again and always.
In summary, I need to be an active participant in my recovery, not just watch from the sidelines. Maybe I will sponsor in the future. I took out my book last night to start working my steps again. I wish the same for all of you. Never become complacent. Support others like you said.
Hi SK, thanks for your very honest and forthright reply. Of course I asked the question for a reason. A alcoholic who works in a big rehab in the States got very curious about why people with time relapse. It is a subject of great import to those of us with time. So he got to sit down with each one over a period of time to try and find the common thread, or cause if you like.
He began by thinking it might be that they were not going to meetings. That was true with some but not all. The prescription pad was another risk element. But there was one thing that stood out. In almost every case, the relapser was not sponsoring anyone.
I had an experience a few years ago when my wife was diagnosed as terminally ill. It never occured to me to drink. A friends husband was diagnosed with something similar, and she drank immediately. We talked about it later and compared notes. Right through my wifes illness, I continued with my home group and continued to sponsor one or two guys. She had never sponsored anyone.
After that I found this little passage on I think, page 14 in the big book. Ebby tells Bill that he will not stay sober without service and self sacrifice to others. He said there will be low spots ahead and we won't survive if we don't get busy. Crapes 2002 research found something similar in their research, the same as my observation over the years - it is the sponsors that stay sober.
That little saying "you have to give it away to keep it" is very apt in my experience.