Thank You All - Day 5 winding down
Wrapping up a good day 5 here..
Thank you all, I’m glad I found this forum. I have supportive friends and family, but I also have such a high level of guilt, shame and anxiety, and my alcoholism was extremely closeted. I was definitely “high functioning” — it’s not as if I was a walking “warning sign” that others were planning an intervention for. From an outsiders perspective, I’m sure everything was A-OK 👌, but if I kept up with what I was doing to myself, I’m positive it would have gotten ugly. It would hit everyone like a brick if they even realized I was drinking like I was.
I am going to get my close circle involved and aware as a part of my process, I am, trust me. But in these earliest days, essentially “creating my own intervention” if you will? it would have driven my anxiety right back to the bottle.
But this is what I’ve needed all along. I’ve needed an outlet to share with others where I’m at, listen to what others are going through but also celebrate the great things happening, and always keep me accountable when I need it. A place to “go” when I’m feeling urges. A place where I can go and comfortably call where I was at by what it was, alcoholism, without feeling unbelievably ashamed. I wish I found this a long time ago but I’m glad I’ve found it now, so thank you! 🙏