golfreggie

The problem with "relapse" is we look at it as "an accident", an unplanned event. When, if we really think about it, relapse is the "solution" we use in order to deal with a problem. The problem becomes our excuse to drink. I say excuse, because we fool ourselves into thinking we really want to stop drinking, but to do that we would have to find a different solution for "our problem". We really would like to drink, but with different results. We aren't satisfied with our drinking, elsewise we wouldn't make up excuses or use life as an excuse, or to get our family off our backs (I'm trying!) or save our job. Drinking was our answer! We want it to be our answer, because for a while we got lots of fun and escape and enjoyment from our drinking. It is only when "life" happens and we begin to see how drinking has affected our lives negatively that we begin to see if we can fix it ourselves, moderate, only drink at certain times, you know the drill. My sponsor, Stan, always shared, "I got myself into this mess, I can get myself out"! Wrong, at least if you are alcoholic like me and Stan. We had to have help. To accept and use that help we had to surrender. That is the key. Some folks say acceptance, but that is the start. Surrender is the action, although at face value it seems acceptance is a condition of the mind. Without surrender we won't do the work. We "know" the answer, but until we "apply" the answer, we are educated drunks, wondering why we drink. Duh! Good luck, I hope you see your bottom and don't hit it. God Bless