Yeah. The good things about getting sober Is we get our emotions back. The bad thing about getting sober Is that we get our emotions back.
And they re scary and feel pretty wild at first. But they re really NOT in control. Emotions come and go like trains, and we don't need to jump on every one of them. We can be more like train spotters and gradually learn about ourselves. What happened? Why was my reaction to feel like that? I gradually, gradually managed to do this and realised that underneath everything (and boy, I'd kept it hidden well for decades) is a very very fearful person.
The Humility prayer that i use every day helps me to identify just what is rattling me (as I read it through, usually something will jump out at me as to being the root of my malady). Often just identifying it will be enough for me to get balance restored. Other times it will help me figure out what action I should take.
Humility Prayer.
God. I pray for your helping in detaching from the desire of being:
admired, loved, praised, favoured, accepted, consulted, well known, and honoured.
I pray for your help in detaching from the fear of being:
Criticised, ridiculed, humiliated, falsely accused, persecuted, disbelieved, despised, and forgotten.
Please grant me the grace to desire that others may be :
Admired more than I, praised when I am unnoticed, chosen though I may be set aside, preferred to me, and increase in prominence though I remain hidden.
Although others will do what they want, I pray that you will use me for your will.
I pray that I will pause, and while I pause help me to remember to pray for guidance and grant me the humility to find willingness and discard willfulness.
Lord, please open my eyes and ears, and help me to recognise my inner child and not act on its whims and fears.
AMEN.
You know, what you're going through is normal. It is why alcohol is onky even mentioned in the first step of the AA 12-step recovery program. Because stopping drinking is just the first step to recovery.
BB