Originally Posted by
joandmelandhan 
Oh Sunflower you're very brave to admit to us how you're feeling. I've been EXACTLY where you are honey. Small children are tough little creatures! It's a thankless job and very isolating too unless you are the get-up-and-go professional socialising type.
Even though mine are now almost 16 and 11 they still take take take as I suspect they're supposed to. I don't think I ever considered what my parents did for me until I had children of my own.
This phase will pass sweetheart. I remember you were thinking about getting a job? If somehow you can arrange childcare I feel sure it would help you.
Lots of love to you SFL from a fellow mum xxxxx
Thank you for understanding. I know their job is to need me- I wish it didn't hurt so much to be needed all the time. None of this is their fault, it's a flaw in ME.
I keep looking for work but don't see anything that will make it worth paying $$ for daycare. I am just not taking care of myself- the snow has made me isolate and the isolating furthers my depression and eating disorder. I then get to pile shame and guilt on top of the already growing mound of shame and guilt.
My parents have been out of town for 3 weeks and have 2 more to go so I have zero help at the moment. It's strange but this happens every time they go away. It's like the lack of physical support and just knowing they are a few miles away really hits me hard.
I'm in a dark, dark place and I feel like I am just burying myself deeper by the day.
Having said that, I reached out for help from my Reiki master and will be meeting with him tomorrow evening for some energy work. I cannot wait to feel better. I'm sorry you are struggling too...