Well, every 10 year sober alcoholic started with one day! So, maybe you might think about going to meetings, meeting someone you admire and work with him, take suggestions on face value, and like what I did, do what I was told. My ideas got me drunk, maybe ideas from sober folks who had worked the steps could benefit me. Surrender is part of the beginning. Without surrender there is scant chance for a sober life. But, if you have tried everything else, why not try "the program" and the steps. Just might work, good luck