I had a tendency to fall into similar relapse cycles Stewey. If you're hungover, and in a dark place. I've spent hundreds of wasted days in agony with poison floating in my blood that my liver couldn't handle.
Take those days, and think about them. How many times have you missed a sunny day to enjoy the weather because you were hungover? Ever missed work?.. The stuff you do to keep yourself fed, and a roof over your head? A week or two of detox does wonders to kick-start at least what feels like busting through a frozen lake from the murky waters below. If you can find a place to detox safely, or find a way to inform yourself, it'll get you started.
You'll realize those hungover days combined have done crazy damage and waste of days compared to the few weeks it takes to get the tough bit out of the way. I'm at the point where withdrawals are less dark than hangovers. If you can go to the doc for outpatient meds, it'll make things easier. Go inpatient if you can... might be able to set a payment plan that keeps reminding you to be sober if you can't pay for it in one shot.