You're moving into positive attitude mode while still in the middle of a difficult situation! A puppy is fun, but, of course a lot of responsibility. Have you been with your husband since his teens? Throughout his drinking years? Is he working/able to work? Is he improving at all? I wish you well, and agree with others that a new job for you would work wonders for your confidence and your finances. Have you thought about what opportunities there might be out there for you?