Scout I am glad you have admitted to the forum what happened. I only have two questions, and only because I don't know you or your situation. Do you have a sponsor or an accountability partner, and have you gone to a meeting? I had a sponsor and he told me to call him "before" I drank, and I went to meetings regularly. Just my experience, hope it helps. Also, when I sponsored folks I reminded them that it is not necessary to have more than one sobriety date. Best wishes, and if you can do so, make this sobriety date the one you can claim for tomorrow, and ultimately, the rest of your life. God Bless