For me what I need to focus on this time - and I want this to be my final time - is that should something throw me off the road and I end the ditch, that I DO NOT allow the mud on my pants to convince me I am back in that hell.
I hope you forgive yourself, stiffen your back and push forward.
I know the feeling and in the past I've allowed slip-ups to become divergencies into the woods, losing myself among the poison again.
Learn something from this. Find a tool you can rely on the next time.
Post here and let us know how you are doing today.
Stay strong.