So I'm new to this forum but have read quite few threads in the last few days. I'm a 39 year old male living in the midwest and am 20 days sober. My drugs of choice are alcohol and marijuana. I have smoked weed daily for about the past 20 years and have drank alcohol almost daily for that same period of time. I have tried to quit smoking weed many times only to start up again within a short period of time. About 8 years ago this really started to affect my family life and caused my wife and I to separate. At that time I thought I was ready to quit for good. I voluntarily went to intensive outpatient treatment and started going to AA. I was sober for about 4 months when my wife and I got back together. I stayed sober for a few more months but then slowly I let weed back into my life, shorty there after I started drinking again. Within a few months I was back to drinking and smoking daily and have for the last 8ish years. Now once again my wife and I are separated. I'm 20 days sober and have gone back to my AA group from before buy my mind is all over the place with fear, worry, doubt and I feel like a mess. I feel like I really want to kick this habit once and for all but I felt his before. Then once things died down I started right up again. I know how insidious this disease is , I know I have a problem. How do I keep this together this time? The thought of going the rest of my life without drinking or smoking weed is extremely daunting.
