My RABF has been sober for 8 months and during this time I have learnt to not have expectations from the hard way. To this day, he still lies about the little stuff, and is still lost. I have waited for him to value our relationship and do things right, but I know he is not ready. I have expressed my frustrations to him many many times, and I know he truly wants things to be right, but he is not there yet.
You need to focus on yourself and try not to be too caught up in his "selfishness" or confusion. Miscommunication is likely as he is going through the rough stages in early recovery.
I wish there was another way and our addicts could just be functioning normal beings the second they get sober. But unfortunately, it takes a long time.