I don't know what I can do to change it! How do I lower my expectations? Do I just ignore him except to take him to meetings? Do I treat him like an acquaintance, keeping it to small talk? Do I just pretend were not married?
I'm working on me. My first counseling appt is Tuesday. I NEED to wrap my mind around having low expectations. I only work one day a week, we need that money, but I'm missing work because of all of these migraines. He missed out on money we need because of his issues and mine. You guys are great at helping, just tell me how to do this and Ill do it.
Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Sorry you are having such a hard time, hope the migraine eases up really quickly.
Truthfully it could be either, could be selfish, could be genuine misunderstanding.
You mentioned in your post a couple of months ago that when he got sober it seemed like you were dealing with a teenager.
After so many years of using alcohol to cope, to numb feelings etc etc he might just be genuinely confused.
The truth is, he can't help you right now. He is obviously not "getting it" for whatever reason. You asked him to move in with family for a while and he hasn't. You have explained to him that you can't do the long drive thing with him, yet he asks or assumes you will.
Whether that's from misunderstanding, selfishness or him just wanting things to carry on as normal because that is what he would like, the end result is you laying in bed with a migraine.
What can you do to change that.