The Day After the Breakup....
You know that feeling you get when you've been spinning for a while and suddenly stop? Everything keeps spinning for a bit before slowly getting better. Sometimes you may even fall down...but you get back up and eventually the spinning stops.
This is the analogy I'm using for what it's currently like after breaking it off with the AXBF. I'm still on the emotional merry-go-round. I've gone mostly no-contact, other than to ask for the key to my place back and tell him I will give him his back as well. We work at the same place, but on opposite shifts and in different departments, so there's only a half an hour overlap where we're in the same place at the same time.
I'm still feeling the emotionally roller coaster - happy to have stood up for myself, worry about him and his drinking, reminding myself it is NOT my problem, feeling bad that the relationship went the way it did.
The thing that peeves me off the most is that I told myself I wouldn't get involved with an alcoholic again - and here I am! JUST as I knew it would turn out! One positive takeaway from the relationship: I've been treated really well by him (sober) so I know what it's like to feel honored and respected by a man in a relationship. I've also stood up and refused to allow myself and my boundaries to be disrespected. I just REALLY wish both of those lessons didn't have to be with the SAME MAN!!!
Relationships are HARD, man! Maybe I'll just be like my grandma and get a dog and live the life of a single, sassy old lady doing my own thing and not bothering with relationships again. She seemed to have fun doing it!