Day 16. Wow. Time flies. The days really do pile up. I mean - so little time in the grand scheme but I feel like it's an entirely different world from where I was two weeks ago. I'm not complaining.
I am exhausted. A common theme of late. Managed to receive the energy to get more done - almost all the way on getting my own wheels up and running. Likely will have crossed that hurdle by Saturday of this week - maybe even Friday.
As I dig deeper into the first few steps of the AA program I'm experiencing feelings and insights that I can't describe. I'll just summarize it by saying that I feel very alive right now. It's at once a mix of peace, awe, fear, curiosity, and wonder. And that doesn't really do it justice. I don't really want it to end. My days - challenging as they can get - are very full. I woke at 4 am this morning and got home at 6:00 pm. It's a long way from the depressed rut I was in of self neglect. It was common for me to cut out of the office at noon or early afternoon and come home and sleep. I don't miss wasting my life that way, though I do look forward to living without the impending lack of freedom that is headed my way. I continue to be grateful that nothing I've done is permanent.
I need to act on the fellowship piece of my sobriety and find a way to prioritize getting to more AA meetings and exploring that world rather than just read about it. I will get to it in time.... soon(tm) even. Maybe now that most of the major hurdles that I have direct influence on are largely solved or pending solved I can bump it up on the priority list.
Another trip tomorrow. Headed to the West Coast to work with a new client. I'm grateful for the work and the ability to do so. I'm grateful to have confidence from last week's trip to carry with me. I won't drink.
Laundry, Drink this wonderful quart of fresh brewed green tea. Pack and lights out.
-B