You got excellent advice, as always from this group of people. Boy is it hard for a mama not to go on the rampage when her child is hurt. Last summer my husband and husbands best friend took my 16 year old son on his boat. I wasn't worried he would get hurt, but I wanted to make it clear that if he gets hurt I will hunt him down and kill him twice. It sounds like you BIL just said something without thinking. He must be a younger man who hasn't learned when to keep his mouth shut. I think he's been well schooled now. 😂 I think your approach to helping your daughter is sound and appropriate.