Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Hey...
I'm so sorry. This is awful. But sadly, this is often how addiction ends, and the worst thing about it is there's nothing we can do.
In the days and weeks to come, you're likely to revisit all the moments you've talked and try to identify when or where you could have said something different...something that would have prevented what happened. And I hope, in time, you'll recognize and make peace with that fact he was out of your reach.
This is going to hurt for a long, long time. Quite possibly forever. That's just how it is. But in time, mstrust, you'll adapt to a different life, and that life can still be a good one. In the meantime, allow yourself to feel what you're feeling. Don't try to stuff it down. Reach out for support, whether it's here or with your friends. And do what you need to do to get through your days.
Again, I'm so sorry.