New to SR
First time posting, 42 days sober and counting. Have taken up journaling and writing throughout this journey so far. Not very big into sharing but thought maybe I should give it a try. Just some ramblings and a reminder to remain grateful and to fight on, if you are bored enough to read! :P. Hello to all my fellow warriors out there!
Binge-watching television series has become a hobby of mine during my early recovery. Like any addict, I still crave an escape from myself. Albeit it a bit anticlimactic in terms of how helpful it is towards my recovery, I was surprised to find one night that something was sparked within me, something that reached the very innards of my human nature. It happened during a show about survival.
Despite the extreme fictional basis of the program, I somehow came to realize that this show was actually very reminiscent of the world we live in. That war and survival are, and always will be, a reality. I found myself teary eyed over this, feeling a great deal of sadness for the world and all of its problems. I began to wonder what it must be like for these survivors. I thought about how grateful they were for the simplest of life’s graces – food, water, and a place to sleep.
How wonderful it would be if people of this modern world were as grateful for such things – but the fact of the matter is, we simply aren’t. I think of the sort of things we worry about and how silly it all really is. Although I have always felt a sort of disconnect with our society, and a sense of disgust toward what people as a whole have become (myself included), I have never fully deciphered the reasons behind it.
The happenings of the show triggered the realization within me that in a modern Westernized world we never had to fight for our survival - it was handed to us (for the most part). There was no real right of passage, no sort of physical battle to overcome. I was born and fed and sheltered until adulthood.
I wonder, as an addict, was I trying to create a right of passage for myself? Digging myself into a hole so deep so that I would later have to fight my way out? I had in fact created a constant battle of survival, tucked away within a life full of food water and shelter. Maybe it is human nature? Maybe my spirit craved to earn this life it was given. Maybe addicts, are really just lost warriors trying to find their way in this modern world.