tiredwoman

When I was a teen, I loved audio production and deejaying. My dad is an audio engineer and he taught me a few things about sound when I was a kid. I've always had an intense love for music (frankly, I couldn't remain sober without it - I get so much pleasure from it). At family gatherings and teen parties I would be on the decks. Getting older, I preferred to dance and drink with the crowd as opposed to being behind the decks. I lost the passion for it - booze took over.

I have been sober for over a month. I feel so good and optimistic about my life. When I was drinking all the time, the alcohol corrupted my worldview. It made it seem like the only real pleasure and happiness I can get from life, is from the bottle. Now that I am sobering up, I can see that such a perception was just a huge lie. I'm reengaging with old hobbies again and loving it.

I've been listening to playlists I enjoyed playing when I was younger (can't tell you how wide of a smile that induces) and it has given me a desire to start deejaying again as a hobby. However, I'm afraid because doing so will expose me to alcohol (parties, etc). Of course when I first started deejaying, I didn't drink (was too young and had no desire for alcohol anyway - you can't crave what you don't know). But as a recovering alcoholic, I don't think such an environment would be conducive to my sobriety. I fear being around so much booze will lead to relapsing, but on the other hand, I would LOVE to pick up a hobby I used to do.

Since I'm only 45 days sober, I've been thinking perhaps I should postpone the prospect for a few months. I've got a lot going on in my life right now - matters that require me to be at my absolute best, and that means I have to be sober. So minimising any risks is relapsing is key.

I'd appreciate any advice.