This was my first Friday night not drinking. It took all my resolve not to drink. I wanted to give up, admit I'm too weak for this task, which appears daunting and never ending. Even though I didn't drink, it took so much out of me mentally, I feel like I did drink... it was that close.
On Friday nights, my boyfriend and I have been going to UNOs for snacks. I always get a beer. (He thinks it's my first; I've already done a pre-drink of 2 or 3 beers). Last night I ordered water, saying I was on a diet. I just don't want to tell him that I have a problem. I want to beat the problem first and then maybe tell him in six months. Ironically, he was a heavy drinker until 11 years ago when he got sober. I didn't know him then. We've been dating less than a year.
I think he would understand my issue, but I'm not ready to let him know.
Last night was really, really hard but I made it through.